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LIFE LESSONS | PERFECTIONISM | BUDDHISM

Being perfectly imperfect in an imperfectly perfect world

(a ten-point program of consolation for failed perfectionists)

Francis Laleman
11 min readAug 29, 2023

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My beautiful imperfection, in a GIFFEST III installation with the EYEYAH! collective in the National Design Centre (Singapore) — flaleman, August 2023

Perfection is the tyranny of the should

The question whether we should be perfect is a question that should never arise. I live in East Asia, where perfection is firmly engrained in parenting and education, and I witness its sometimes destructive power on an almost daily basis. In my programs on Meaningful Youth Engagement I meet a great number of young people — and there is hardly anybody who doesn’t complain about the constant pressure of parent-and-society-imagined perfection. If people feel locked-up, constrained, crammed, caged, unappreciated, lastingly discontent, and generally unhappy — it is the constant hammering of the nail to perfection that brings them there.

The perfect imperfection of an unrideable horse, installation by the EYEYAH! collective at the National Design Centre (Singapore) — photo by flaleman, August 2023

The perfect imperfection of language

Even in Buddhist philosophy, the idea of perfection is all over the place. The literature on perfection is a vast body of texts and teachings culminating in…

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Francis Laleman
Francis Laleman

Written by Francis Laleman

a husband, father, painter, writer, educationist, designer, facilitator. author of “Resourceful Exformation” (a book on facilitation) available from Amazon.

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